Psycho Landlord - Part 1

Moving out of home for the first time to me was absolutely terrifying. I had no job, I didn't really understand WHY the fuck I was moving in the first place, just knew I didn't want to be where I was. I don't think that I was fully prepared for it either. Not that you get a manual in school of what exactly to do when your landlord bursts into your apartment on your first morning of being in the apartment telling you to get the fuck out because of complaints and insisting that your apartment smells of drugs with about 8 randomers collapsed on your floor. So when he knocked down the bedroom door my mouth was so dry and I was still absolutely hammered that the only words I managed to half-arse scream was 'I DONT LIKE DRUG!!!!!'.....Super. He also brought his sidekick, who, without a doubt was born in the fucking mountains. The man thought that roaring around my apartment at everyone as if he was gathering a herd of fucking cows was perfectly acceptable. TRAUMA.

So as the landlord ripped all the gorgeous fairy lights out of the wonderfully decorated apartment insisting they were stupid flowers, I eventually persuaded him to leave and let us clean up. BAD IDEA. Me and my roommate Catriona basically fucked the horrible looking urn (which we found in the back garden and for some reason became our un-emptied disgusting-smelling ashtray over the summer) into the bathroom along with all the bags of rubbish and the bottles. After being there for one night, that probably was our time to leave. But no, we fought for the weird 1950's oven, the banjaxed windows, the 500 flies that lived with us in the apartment, the washing machine that made our clothes smell sick and most of all the shower that was as productive as two people spitting on your head. This was less than 24 hours of moving into the apartment. I ended up spending a whole fucking Summer there....

Can't tell you all my landlord's psycho behaviour in one post so there's more to follow.......Lots more.

x